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Journal Entry: Wed Mar 19, 2014, 8:59 AM

I've been in China for almost a week now, and all the memories I have of this place is flooding back. Unfortunately, many of those memories are quite negative. A lot of people commented on my last journal asking why my stepmom and half brother had tried to kill me. It's not a secret and I'm in a weird mood right now so I'll retell the story.

I last visited China almost five years ago. I was unfortunate enough to be stranded at the LAX airport for two days. During that time, I met another girl my age who was also returning to China to visit family. We talked for a long time and I found out her parents are also divorced like mine. She told me how her stepmom would regularly burn her with cigarette buds. I was horrified but I felt lucky that my stepmom is kind to me. I told her I was lucky to have a nice stepmom. I had never been so wrong.

When I first arrived, my stepmom greeted me kindly, and we talked, joked, and hung out like a regular family would. But her mask was quickly cracking and she couldn't keep up with the facade anymore. What happened afterwards made no sense no matter how many times I've thought about it. It started with a missing fruit knife. It was a cheap fruit knife of no value. She couldn't find it and insisted that I had lost it even though I never used a knife at their place. She screamed and yelled for hours and hours at my dad about how I lost the knife. I would be in my room and I could still hear every word clearly. This entire time, her eight year son (my half brother) was in the same room, watching his mom losing her mind. I couldn't understand why she was so angry about a missing fruit knife until I heard her scream "- and your daughter doesn't want me here either!"

I was beginning to grasp the situation then. She thought I didn't like her because she's not my biological mom, even though that wasn't the case at all. In the next few days, she refused to move from the sofa or do anything at all. Before she started going insane, we had planned to visit a historical site as part of the family vacation. The day before the trip, she told her son that she doesn't want to go anymore so he's not allowed to go either even though he wanted to. She screamed and yelled all night but the next morning, she was smiling, happy, and ready for us to all go as a family.

During the trip, she would constantly disappear along with her son. One moment we would all be walking together, and then suddenly they would vanish for 10 to 20 minutes.

After the trip, she went back to screaming her head off. Then suddenly she ran away. I would later find out that this is the third time she had done so. For every time I visited my dad in the past years, she would pretend to be kind to me until her hatred for me could no longer be contained and she would run away. She hated me because I was a constant reminder to her that my dad had once loved someone else. I was kept blissfully ignorant and told she was just visiting family every time.

This time, however, her son was left behind. Turns out all those times they kept disappearing during the family trip was when she would tell him lies about how I was a "spy" sent by my mother and grandma to ruin his family. And when his mother ran away, all of his fears came true. I was the evil foreigner who came and made his mother disappear. So he decided to take matters into his own hands and grabbed a kitchen knife to kill me.

My dad was sitting on the couch with me when my half brother tried to kill me. My dad was disturbingly calm during the entire event. My half brother explained that because his mom told him I have a black heart, I need to be destroyed. Meanwhile, my dad calmly explained that there has been a misunderstanding and left it at that. My dad said it was no big deal because his son would try to stab people all the time, so it was normal. I was freaked out, but my half brother had put the knife away so I thought maybe he understood that I'm not actually trying to ruin his family.

We went out to eat dinner right afterwards, the three of us, like a family. My half brother even fed me some fries so I thought everything had gone back to normal. Turns out he was a lot like his mother, kind and smiling until the mask comes off. My dad went to bed early right after dinner. I went to work on my webcomic, 1000 Words, which ironically was about how much pain divorce has on a child. Having gone through it myself, I would never wish that same fate upon my half brother. While I worked in the office, he came in and opened all the drawers. He dug out every single wedding photo of his mom and my dad and started shoving them in my face. I told him to stop because I need to work. He said "Ha! I knew it. This is proof that you want to ruin my family because you're jealous. Don't underestimate me. I know how to kill you."

At that moment, the phone rang. It was his mom. I told her my dad is asleep and that she needs to seriously reflect upon what her lies have done to her son. When she found out he had tried to kill me, she laughed and said "that's your dad's problem now."

At that point, I had had enough. I packed up all of my belongings while my dad slept and got ready to leave for my grandparent's place. Right before I got out the door, my step mom came back and grabbed my suitcase, refusing to let me go. Her crazed reasoning was that if I leave, my dad would be sad, and he would blame her for it so I'm not allowed to leave. I had to kick and claw myself away from her. I escaped in a taxi and arrived at my grandparent's place after midnight.

After I returned to America, my half brother would regularly hijack my dad's QQ acount (Chinese messenger) to send me pictures of bloody knives and bombs.

Years later, when I found out that my dad was denied by the US to visit me for my college graduation, many people asked why can't I just go back to see him in China. I had to explain that I'm not safe there so people suggested that I could meet my dad in another country and vacation together, just the two of us and safely away from the drama. I thought it was a great idea so I suggested it to him. He said no, because it's too "bothersome". He doesn't want his wife to get angry at him for seeing me, so he chickened out. I kept bringing up that I want to see him, so he finally said that he was "dying" so he doesn't have enough time left to see me. I cried, and cried even more when I found out he was completely lying to get out of seeing me. 

I stopped talking to him afterwards. I would later find out through my grandma that he was complaining about how I'm such a bad daughter who doesn't even call. How unlucky of me to have been born his daughter. If I had been born his son, I could try to kill my own sibling and still be loved more by him. 

Now that I'm back in China again, this time not to see him but to visit my grandparents, he wants to play father again. I got to see him once a month when I was a child, so there's a part of me that will always long to spend time with a father. But now that he's here, I can't forget all of the things that had happened. I can't enjoy my time with him. Every moment is filled with awkward silence. 

I don't know what to do anymore. I want to be happy this time. 

Add a Comment:
stuffthehappydargon Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2015  Hobbyist
Yuumei I hope you feel better about the situation. I'm not going to say I understand what you're going through because I honestly don't. I've actually recently gone back to China to visit my dad too, and recently he even started to talk to me, which is strange because he never used to call me when I was younger. Turns out he just wanted to use me to get to America easier. My step mom became afraid of my half brother might catch a disease because China is so polluted. My dad like yours try's to play father to me too and it feels weird because it's not genuine. You're situation is much more worse then mine and it makes me thankful that my situation isn't that bad. Thank you for that. I hope you can feel better. It's just a suggestion but I'm also ignorant to your life so please don't be offended if something offends you. If your dad has lung cancer and is going to die soon maybe it's better to just ignore him and his family. Cut ties so it doesn't hurt you later. And clearly if he doesn't think you're worth the effort to see then he's not even worth the thoughts in your head. Value yourself yuumei.
Stettafire Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
My parents split up when I was young. My dad now lives on the other side of the planet and just earlier this week he tried to get me to pay for a £1000 ticket to go see him in Hong Kong when he knows I can't afford it and I'm terrified of flying and I don't own a passport. But I have been fortunate that my step dad is a genuinly nice person and my mum is a lovely person too. 
Your work has always been so inspiring and I can see that your a nice person. 
MomotsukiNezumi Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
I know it's probably not worth much since I've never met you, but after reading this journal post, I cried a lot. Coming from a nice family myself, it's usually difficult for me to swallow my horror and empathy when I read or see mistreatment of one family member by another, especially when your behavior did nothing to warrant it. The behavior of your stepmom and stepbrother was completely awful, and your father should have been a better dad instead of a coward. The behavior you've explained from them here is nothing short of horrifying, and I'm sorry you had to go through that. With luck, maybe one day their disturbing, toxic behaviors will clear up and they can learn to be decent human beings, but if not....

Well, you've got a lot of people (myself included) who think you're 100,000% absolutely AMAZING, Yuumei, and if your own family (and given the contents of this journal post, I can just barely bring myself to use that term. But at least your grandparents are nice!) can't be bothered see that, then it's their own loss, isn't it? There's billions of other people in this world who'd love to be friends and family with you. Just because your dad and stepfamily are too blinded by their own pathetic hatred and cowardice to see that you're a good person, doesn't mean the rest of the world will make that mistake. I hope you find some nice new positive relationships, get some proper affection and kindness! This site itself, with your followers to prove it, just proves even more that you're a likeable, awesome person, we're all standing behind you!

I can only hope that you can stay happy, and keep strong. There are thousands upon thousands of people from this site whose lives you've affected positively by your beautiful work, so let me add my own well-wishes to the (Long, and VERY well-deserved!) comment section of well-wishes and support.

You're a wonderful, amazing person, don't ever forget that!
skyblue000 Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I'm so sorry that this happened to you.. I can't even imagine what it would've felt like to experience your family members hurt you this much, especially your own dad-- I know its so hard to, but stay strong and hang in there. I will pray for you Yuumei, because you don't deserve any of this crap that happened to you. I sincerely hope that instead of people that hurt and let you down, you will surround yourself with real family- they don't have be biological family, but people who truly love you unconditionally and will be there for you through thick and thin. 
NewNumber2 Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2014
There is just NO EXCUSE for what they did.

I hate that this happened to you, ma'am, and will add you to my church's prayer chain. I'll be praying for you, too.
WePePe Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
you're strong yuumei, seriously your step mom and your half brother is messed up -___-
KatieBat Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2014
This is textbook toxic behavior.  Your stepmother is insane, your half-brother is a sociopath, and your father is a selfish, spineless doormat, and no one shows any sign of getting better.  The best you can do is cut them out of your life completely.  Believe me, you deserve to be surrounded by people who love you unconditionally.
HexaSept Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I hope your family situation gets better ;u; I wouldn't know anything about this kind of thing, I feel lucky to have a peaceful, relatively happy family.
SafiaAnime Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2014
You are amazing Yuumei!
If I was in such a situation I would break down and maybe stab someone.
You are so strong!
EdwinaCX Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
How could your dad lie to you? That's horrible.

My sister once held a knife at me and mother too. But it was just a 'joke'. She didn't want to go to school that day. When we tried to drag her out of the house, she ran into the kitchen and grabbed a chef knife. She was only 8 years old back then. But, after lotsa smacking, slapping and discipline, she's OK now.
2otaku Featured By Owner Edited Jun 30, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
The fact you were strong enough to share this story of a dark part of your life is proof you will survive and be stronger. Memories, good and bad, are important to you. You are strong enough to bear them all.

I wish you peace.

You are loved, remember that.
zirro Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2014
I'm going to be blunt. Your father doesn't deserve you. He hasn't defended you nor has he been there for you emotionally.

This is harsh, but I think the best move for you to is cut your father from your life, emotionally. I did that to my father when I was only 9years old, because I realised he was someone who would only hurt me if I'd respect and love him. He didn't even do any a specific thing, he just was neglecting, judgmental and a bit of an a-hole. There is a part of me that probably loves him still, maybe, I don't know. All I know is that I love and respect myself more.

I wish you strength and happiness no matter which path you choose. You are brave, brilliant and worthy of more from your family.
GakuenAlice4Ever Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2014
I know this probably won't mean much, and I know you probably won't get around to reading this, but I just wanted to let you know that I will pray for you and your relations. You are an incredibly strong person to have made it through so much, but I do believe that God can help to mend your broken heart. He loves you. I just really wish that I could give you a hug right now.
Kawii-Usagi-Chan Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2014
This really left me feeling cold! T T Don't let anyone who's done you wrong make you feel like you are anything less.  To me, there's nothing wrong with leaving people with poor intentions with guilt. There are cases, where those regardless of being family, that must be avoided if possible. Because they are likely to only bring more sorrow into your life. There's nothing wrong with leaving people to fade in the past. Whats most important is to focus on your own well being and healthy state of mind. Period!

I'm still struggling to wipe out the memories of bad people and events. Even tough I'm already a beloved wife and mother. It takes time ... a lot of time. I've had anxiety issues for most of my life. The only way it was cured was by running away, avoiding contact with any family members, travel across the U.S and live with someone I trust and start a new life. I had been extremely blessed in the end. But a majority of my luck was working to make things better for myself and stop being selfless for the sake of bad parents.

Sometimes, you have to be selfish. Especially when those around you will not change.  

You are a wonderful talented person and I wish all will be well for you. :)
Reitana123 Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2014  Student Filmographer
This is devastating. I can't believe how strong you are and don't give up :) 
ivyshadowofash Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2014
I'm so sorry to hear this...anyone that doesn't like you must not be in their right mind...
Writing-Desk Featured By Owner May 18, 2014
I'm sorry about your past.
I wish you luck in the present and future and hope you are able to obtain true happiness.
ToddNTheShiningSword Featured By Owner May 13, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I believe your father is pretending to dislike you in order to preserve family cohesion. I also believe that every time he says you're bad he breaks his own heart because it's a lie. 
I think his deepest fear is that if his son and his daughter are ever on the same continent, mortal combat will ensue, but he loves his son AND his daughter, and it's too late to stop his son from being corrupted, so he's doing what he believes he has to do as a father to keep you both alive. And that he really does love you and that's why he caved in when you returned to China.

I know you get a billion Comments, but I hope you get a minute to read mine, and although I should doubt my own correctness here, since it's your family, I hope that I am correct.
ToddNTheShiningSword Featured By Owner May 13, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I hope it worked out for you.
Also, I hope that he lied to you to protect the family, and not because he was chicken. It sounds to me that he thought that not seeing you was the only way to save the family, and that he was hurt by his own decision. I don't know your family, so I could be very wrong, but I hope I am right.
PoOfyPink Featured By Owner May 5, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
i'm So Sorry to Hear that ,, you Don't deserve That T____T ..
InGodzHandz Featured By Owner May 4, 2014  Professional Photographer
These people are crazy.  I would avoid them like the plague.  I am so sorry!
MiruFujiwara Featured By Owner May 1, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I cant believe you've experienced all these terrible things, I'm very sorry to hear your experienced in China. You are a great person, a wonderful daughter and a great artist.  I thought that my life was worst than yours and I am so horribly angry at your stepmom. No offense but people have different attitudes, your step mom wasnt thinking well and your half brother thought your were a bad person. If they knew what you are know, they'll come crying at your door. But dont worry, the past is the past and I wish you good luck in your life.
dankucenturion Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2014
I'm surprised by the bad things you've been through, your brother if this should go crazy a psychologist or will end badly -_-u
May God protect you and give you the strength to find happiness in your family.
CRGPhotography Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
I thought you might be interested in knowing that DA has chose this as an example (when submitting a deviation) of a Personal Journal.

That is so horrible what happened to you. I thought my family was Chaotic and messed up.
WDWParksGal Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2014
Oh my gosh. I'll never complain again! I didn't realize you were Chinese. Not sure how I missed that watching you all these years but even with your name on your profile page it didn't occur to me you weren't a naturalized citizen.

Am so sorry you have had to deal with such horror. I read your recent journal and thought I had better see what has been happening in your life. I get so behind on dA (groups take up a lot of my time), that I will often read journals in bulk rather than when they were released. It is good that you and your father have finally come to an understanding :cuddle:
Meriginal Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2014
You're dad sounds almost like my mum, never truly appreciative or grateful about the child they have. In my mum's case, she has taken my older sister for granted too many times and it pains me too see my sister, who has helped my mum on so many adult matters (e.g buying a house, translating what a bank teller says to my mum and vice versa, running her errands), and my mum repays my sister through years of unwarranted criticisms and blamings for things that are not my sister's fault. I blame my mum's treatment on my sister, partly on my mum's social group (other chinese who live locally in our area), as for some reason they knew they can manipulate my mum, and stir up my family, particularly my mum's younger sister (the psychotic aunt, who I found out many years later, were physically abusing my older sister and brother). For example, my mum's psychotic bored bitch sister, whinged about my sister's skirt being 'too short' , which is absolute bull, because you can see clearly, its length, reaches down to my sister's ankle, my mum came home and shouted at my sister. You would expect when some crap happens like when a sister or a friend bitches about their peers childrens, the parents would defend their children and tell them to fuck off then go home peacefully and admire their children and being proud of themselves for having the guts to defend their children against their so called "friends and family" and being proud of their own children. HELL NO! that did NOT happen in my family as far as I know., my mum always shouted at my sister despite whether she was behaving or not. I can't blame my mum for still socialising with those peers back then, they were the only people who could speak Cantonese with my mum and my mum can't speak english properly which is a problem if you live in an English speaking community.  

Well, these days, the family life seems to be calmer, my sister moved out, we don't talk to my mum's bitchy sister or her family anymore (they committed a family crime which led to the break up in the family, and it turns out the result of the crime was bittersweet, bitter part, left me a slight trauma, sweet part, we don't have to see that psychotic evil bored bitch again and her corrupted children, one in particular is of a DISGUSTING character...please don't ask what happened) and we moved to a new area, where my mum is socialising with seemingly more decent chinese people. But that doesn't change the fact I've developed a slight sinophobia in regards to the chinese population that is around my mum's age. And my mum for once defended one of her children (it was me, but that was when the boss at the workplace picked on me...its a slight improvement) and well we are going to China soon, and we never went before because of the costs and mum was busy. The only regret I experience out of this is that my dad isn't here to experience the calm of our family as he passed away too early, and before he even went back to China.

I guess what I really wanted to say is, having a messed up family is one of the most common things on this damn planet (perhaps I'm just cynical or I've heard too many cases of families being crappy), Enjoy your life while you can and do what you love, and yes family can suck and betray you, but if you're lucky enough, your dad might SINCERELY turn a new leaf or try to turn a new leaf, and when that happens, and if you ever feel comfortable interacting with him, give him a chance to make it up to you and compensate for his past, if it doesn't work out, just happily enjoy your life the way it is and if you feel like you want to get back at your dad at some point and he wants set up a father daughter trip or something, just decline his invite with the excuse "sorry dad I can't go with you, I already have plans with step dad". That's the only advice I can give here, and I'm pretty sure dozens of other people gave this advice too or similar advice (excluding the prank, although the suggestion for the prank is a joke too, so don't take it too seriouslyXD)
Japaninspired Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Such a heartbreaking story.
I hope one day you'll be able to embrace your horrible past and live happily.
BrookeJuda Featured By Owner Apr 9, 2014  Professional Photographer
I'm very sorry it must be extremely difficult being there, but I think it's very wonderful that you went despite what happened to visit your grandparents. Best of luck
essence-reaper420 Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2014
That is intense, i was very interested in your story, maybe you should write a memoir of the past so you can fully get over it and others can read it and than you might not  feel alone. Something I have learned about life is just because they are family, does not mean that they are good people just because they are related to you. Sometimes friends can become family and you can appreciate them just the same.
  I hope you do not struggle anymore. 
Ask-Remedyia-Rainbow Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Aww...I'm very sorry about that... :(
kitty614 Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
I remember that story from your previous artworks about your life...

I know family will always be part of our hearts, but senpai, they're not our whole world. Sometimes we have to let go.

I can only pray that you'll find true happiness. But I want to say that we friends and fans are always here to support you when you're in need. (:
steelwinged Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2014
I hope you'll be happy.
SparkleFairyMangoFsh Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2014  Student General Artist
I hope you get to enjoy your time with your grandparents Dear

I'm terribly sorry for all that you've gone through :cry: I know I'm not the only one moved to tears by this. Since I first discovered you here on dA, you've done nothing but inspire me. Your art is amazing, your story-telling is among the best I've ever experienced, you show real caring for those around you and the environment, but most of all is the strength that you show just making it through life.
We may have never met, and I could be no more a set of comments and favs that shows up every now and again, but I love you Yuumei:heart::hug: I hope things start really looking up for you soon
mousebouse Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2014
;; I hope you are happier now and that you continue to find it >.< *hug* 
Ebony-Fox Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2014
Soofiie Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Mmm... that's kind of awful. But unfortunately, these type of people would almost never realize they were hurting people the hole time and would only care about themselves... I too have family problems and in your place I would probably just left this negative environment... because it's kind of useless to try to explain your point of view because they wouldn't listened to what others says and keep being sucked with their own point...

Also, I was 
wondering something for a while but never found the way to say it to you but did your parents ever seen your arts about the divorce or other family issues that happened to you like these ones:

And if yes did they react differently towards you with anger or sadness or did they just act like if they don't care. :S

Feel free to answer it or not, I know it's personal, but I just had that it mind for a while... 
Shadilyn Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2014
I'm not very good with words when it comes to this kind of thing, but I just wanted to say: I hope you can become happy. If your father can't do that for you, then I hope you can find happiness from other things in life. I hate to judge, and I mean no offense - But at the very least, I don't think your father is a very responsible or honest person, after what he's done. And I hope that you don't pin your happiness on him.

You are amazingly talented, and kind hearted. You actually care about the world around you, are making a difference, and that's more than I could say about a lot of other people. I wish you become happy. Sorry, as a stranger over the internet I can't really do more for you than offer a few words and an e-hug. :hug: 
young-artist96 Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2014
yuumei im so sorry for what happened... no one should have to go thru what you did. i cant imagine what it would feel like.. i truly hope that this trip is fun and happy. Frozen - HUG! :backhug: Emoticon: Hug Glomp emoticon Natsuki Shinomiya (Super hug) [V1] :5-sec-hug: Lovely Shoujo Emoji (Huggy Hug) [V2] hug Chili Anime Emoji (Snuggy hug) [V2] Unexpected Hug :cuddle: :bearhug:  ( sorry i just thought u needed a hug.... or a dozen ><)
sallylamonde Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I am so sorry for what you are going through. You are probably one of the strongest people I know. I am lucky that my step-mother is so nice to me. Well, its not like my real mother cared for me that much but whatever.

I can't relate to what you're going through since the last time I saw my mother was when I was three or four before my paternal grandparents took me to China for a year. When I came back my mother was gone. Three years ago my father married my Chinese step-mother and we are now a happy family.

I hope you will have a safe trip in China. Stay with your grandparents and the only danger will be the air :iconsweethugplz:
Noxmoony Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2014  Student Filmographer
You are amazing, your strength and positive outlook on life inspires many, including me. And know we'll always be here for you. Love and courage! :iconaawplz:
TheHomicidalTeenager Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
Here's the best advice I can think of, especially since my father was absent for ten years, him and my mother got a divorce when i was around six and it fucked with me pretty bad, if it wasn't for her boyfriend playing a great father figure, I would have been lost. Anyway, the best advice is to say this to him, to make someone see their faults you have to place a mirror in front of them, weather he decides to really look or not it completely up to him. At least by finally getting it out and telling him, the weight it no longer on your shoulders, you've said all you can say. Btw I know his you're dad, but totally messed up priorities, trying to stab people is a really bad sign for a child to have is it shows promise for sever mental illness of the psychopathy kind, and your dad ignoring that is him not being a real father to his own son. If he's scared of his own wife, he isn't a man and honestly wouldn't see the worth in forming a relationship with a man that will lie that he is dying so he doesn't have to see his own child.
ToddNTheShiningSword Featured By Owner May 13, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I had to pick someone to say this to, scrolled down through the comments and randomly picked you. :)

No one seems to have read Yuumei's story the way I did. What I see is a father who loves her very much, and is lying to protect her. He wants to keep the family together, and realizes it is too late to save his son from his wife's corruption. I think he believes that if the two of them ever meet, one sibling will have to kill the other and the family will go to war with itself, and the only way to prevent it all is to keep Yuumei out of Asia entirely. I believe maybe he's telling lies about her because that's what everyone there wants to hear, and if she believes he doesn't love her then she'll stay out of China and stay safe, but he really does love her and that's why he broke down when she went to visit her grandparents and tried to be dad again.

Sorry if you wish I hadn't picked you to be the one I replied to... ^^; and yes I told Yuumei this too.
LyricalLark Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2014  Hobbyist
I can hardly say I know what you're going through, and this is probably easier said than done, but I believe you should sever ties with your father, stepmother, and stepbrother... Even if they are "family", they are neglecting and abusing you. That's not truly family. I know that you want to be part of their family, and it seems like they're all trying to get rid of you and it hurts, but in the end, it's your decision whether you want to try and stay in this caustic relationship.

I've always thought that the way to happiness is learning when to let things go.

I hope you enjoy visiting your grandparents and China, but try not to live in the past and don't let those that have hurt you before control your future as well.

You have our support, if that provides a bit of comfort.
And you should know you're an amazing and inspiring person.
I really wish you the best. :<
RoseTheCow13 Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2014
It may seem weird, but there is nothing like "not truly family" even when my family wants to abuse me hate me. It will still be my family and i will always love my father and mother .... Even when you would say they didn't act like the norm of truly family...

nothing against you but there just isn't such thing. 
But there does do is something like not truly friends.
LyricalLark Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2014  Hobbyist
In my own opinion, I believe that bloodlines may bring people together, but what makes people stay is the bond created and if there isn't any bond, they aren't really my family yet. It's not really certain things done either… well what I mean is, if my mom yells and hurts me, that doesn't mean she isn't family to me anymore. I can forgive her because I know she didn't mean to hurt me. It's if she's deliberately trying to hurt me or doesn't care enough to make me understand the reason behind her action, well that's where I would get lost and possibly leave.

But that's just me and I respect your opinion too. Also I don't think I'm good with words, I hope you don't misunderstand me. :b So yeah, perhaps it's a little sad I can't, but I'm glad you can love your family regardless. As differing views, neither way is wrong, but thanks for sharing yours.
RoseTheCow13 Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2014
I think I would leave them too, but I would still see them as my family. And they are the ones who can hurt me the most, because I trust them the most and love them the most.

I think bonds like that just can be thrown away that fast. 

It's true that the bond does matter, but they are mostly formed the first years of your life. And in that time you can't compare your own parents to another.. and in some cases they really loved you but they then change.. 

I really enjoy talking to you, hereby I want to thank you for your time to share your opinion.
LyricalLark Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2014  Hobbyist
Oh, I see. Well yeah, I guess I'm there too. Did you mean "can't" rather than "can" in your 3rd sentence by the way?

I agree it would still be one of the most difficult things to leave and perhaps I might still see them as family though I for one would probably try not to anymore. But I still, fortunately, never had to make this decision, so this is just what I'm saying.

Wow, in the middle of writing this.
Huzzah, yuumei posted a new journal. She actually got the best resolution to work! I'm a little embarrassed I provided a not-so-sweet resolution advice now, but happy she didn't take mine if it really was possible to reconcile (heh, I didn't think it was. Perhaps the situation wasn't as bad as I thought) then. :D

Haha, this happy ending messes up the opinion I've formed on family issues. Now I'm not so sure if I'd want to leave my family. Hmm, well, hopefully I won't ever have to make that sort of decision, because now I really don't know what to do or what I'd actually do.
RoseTheCow13 Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2014
lol well always be open for new insights ;)

thanks for your advice it's going much better between me and my familly now. You ROCK!!
Orchid-Queen Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2014
I'm glad you cut them out of your life. Its better for you to remove people that are toxic for you. Concentrate on other things that make you happy and surround yourself with people that care about you c:
Rhasri Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I may not good with words, but stay positive,Yuumei.
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