I was up past midnight doing "Artist Yoga", aka frantically organizing prints for Fanime (at the San Jose Convention Center)
I'll be in the Artist Alley at table 1603 from May 27th -30th doing more "Artist Yoga" and bending backwards trying to grab all the prints lol. Come by and w̶a̶t̶c̶h̶ ̶m̶e̶ ̶g̶e̶t̶ ̶b̶a̶c̶k̶ ̶p̶a̶i̶n̶ say hi!
(That's my 100 gallon aquaponics system in the background and a giant origami fish on the wall named Fat Louie...)
Thank you all for all the lovely birthday wishes, thank you for all the encouragements at my darkest times, thank you for all the inspiration, determination, and everything that has helped me grow into who I am. I was only 12 when I joined DeviantArt. It's been 14 years with this amazing community of artists, and I wouldn't be who I am today without all of you.
2016 has been a painful year so far but I'm optimistic about the future. I hope the negativity of the past will be burned away and something new and beautiful reborn from the ashes.
Thank you all again for the endless support throughout the years, helping me grow and become a better person.
I’ve realized over the years that I can’t draw everything myself, and I’ve damaged my hands by trying to draw all of my comics on my own. My followers are always asking when the next chapter of Fisheye Placebo or Knite is coming out, and it always pains me to say not yet. I can’t draw for more than a few hours a day now before the pain sets in.
I’m still determined to finish the comics I started, but I know I’m going to need help. I’ve been dabbling in 3D backgrounds for Fisheye Placebo, but I still had to build them myself, which is very time consuming and damaging to my hands in different ways.
I’ve been thinking a lot and I want to move my comic creating techniques to the next level and incorporate both 3D characters and 3D backgrounds. I’m not the most skilled when it comes to 3D programs, and I don’t have the time or health to create all the models myself, so I am looking to hire talented 3D character and background artists out there to help me with my comics.
The projects are long term, lasting years, and will require constant new characters and backgrounds to be created in 3D. There are two positions, and you can apply for just one or both:
The character modeler will be responsible for creating posable 3D models of each character in my art style, rigging and posing each character for all the comic panels. I will provide a rough story board to reference from.
Must use one of the following programs: Maya, Blender, or 3DS Max
Bonus: Works fast. Lives in the San Francisco Bay Area (Not a requirement).
Background modeler will be responsible for creating exterior and interior environments. Common environments found in my comics include urban jungles, cityscapes, cyberpunk rooms and buildings. I will provide rough designs and photos to reference from.
Must use one of the following programs: Sketchup, Maya, Blender, or 3DS Max
Bonus: Works fast. Lives in the San Francisco Bay Area (Not a requirement)
I hope to work closely with each artist and create a long lasting team for not only my current comics but future projects as well. If you are interested in seeing your 3D models in my comics, and like to work in the art style examples I’ve provided, please e-mail me your portfolio to Yuumei.Art@gmail.com with the title “Artist Application”. Along with your portfolio, please also include your full name, location (just the city), resume, availability, work speed, and price range.
Thank you and I look forward to seeing your work!
I finally realized that my traumatic past has been catching up to me. My unresolved fears and pain of abandonment as a child by my parents has seeped into my adult life. It triggers extreme reactions in me that drives people close to me away.
I like to pretend to be strong. That whatever comes at me in life, I'll just pull myself up again and get over it. I'd like to believe that what doesn't kill me makes me stronger. I'd like to pretend that if I somehow draw out pain, and put it on canvas, that the pain will be contained on canvas, and not deep inside me. But that's not true.
When I'm knocked down and broken, and left to pick up the pieces of myself, I lose a bit more of myself each time. Not everything can be glued back together again. And never stronger than before. I can't trust again. I'm afraid of people. I'm afraid of being close to anyone.
It's hard to get up each morning. I feel hopeless and helpless. It doesn't matter that everyone tells me otherwise. I don't feel that way. My friends reach out to me, but I don't want to see them or talk to them and I don't even know why. It hurts to see their kindness go to waste on me.
I feel lost and confused. No matter how hard I try, I keep getting knocked down again. The simple answer is to just get back up, but I can't just get back up indefinitely. I'm not that strong and the burden of being that strong shouldn't be put upon me.
I need time to heal. I need time to go back and face my unresolved past. I'm going to see a therapist. I need help because I can't help myself any longer.
I don't know when I'll post again. I started drawing Fisheye Placebo but I can't keep going right now. I used to say that "no matter what, the sun will shine, and there will always be a brighter tomorrow." But I don't believe that anymore, I don't believe in myself anymore.
I'm sorry I'm always letting everyone down. I'm sorry.
Thank you all again for the endless kindness and support in my last two posts. I am a lot better now, and while everything is not back to normal, I know the worst is over and it can only get brighter from here. I will be getting back to the flow of drawing and comics soon.
Here’s the cityscape aerial tutorial I promised. I meant to post this 2 weeks ago, sorry about the delay. Please let me know if you have any questions about any of the techniques. I’d be happy to explain further
In other news, I’ll be at SacAnime this New Year, Jan 1st - 3rd 2016, at the Sacramento Convention center in the Dealer’s Hall with my prints and books. I would love to see everyone again, and meet new con goers as well. I’d be happy to give more art advice in person or just chat and make new friends I hope to see you there!
And in case you missed it, here are some other tutorials I've been posting on my Youtube channel.
Thank you all for the caring words and understanding on my last post. I might not be able reply to each and every comment, but I did read all of them and they helped me a lot. It’s somehow very calming to know that despite being strangers on the internet, we are all capable of empathy, and that connection despite the distance is one of the many beauties of life. Thank you all again for being there when I’ve lost myself.
With the new year looming, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about everything that has happened, where my priorities are, and how to live a more balanced life. A lot has happened. Successes and failures.
A year ago in 2014, at this time, I was frantically trying to resolve the Axent Wear manufacturing issue. For those who missed the updates, I had designed these cat ear headphones many years ago, and with the amazing help of the backers, raised 3.4 million on Indiegogo to make them into a reality. My best friend at the time, and co-founder of Axent Wear (Victoria Hu), had promised to provide manufacturing for the headphones but when I actually visited the factory she had set up, I found out it was a horrendous sweatshop with workers breathing lead. I told her that was not acceptable and that she needed to provide a humane and environmental alternative. She initially agreed, but ended up ignoring me while I was stuck in China waiting for her replies. Communication completely broke down and we never recovered even after I returned to America to speak with her in person.
For the next half a year was a painful legal battle between her and I, that I honestly did not understand the purpose of. I wanted to just make the headphones in good quality for the backers, and she claimed the same, yet somehow nothing was agreed upon, and nothing was accomplished. For months she did not even allow me to make any official updates for the backers, threatening to sue me if I did (the company is 50/50 between her and I, so nothing can be done unless we both agree to it. It’s a terrible business setup in retrospect, though at the time I thought it seemed fair despite the headphones being 100% my idea).
The backers, many of which have been my fans and followers, felt so disappointed and betrayed by the silence and delays. I read their comments about how they lost trust in me, and I couldn’t even respond to them in fear of Victoria dragging on the legal battle. I could have taken her to court and let the justice system handle everything because I honestly believe she is in the wrong, but any lawsuit would drag on for years, and in that time none of the backers would be getting their headphones. So I sucked up my pride and just went along with whatever compromise she allowed that would still produce headphones. The final result is less than what I wanted, and less than what I think the backers deserve. I did everything I could, including spending tens of thousands of my own money on legal and consulting fees in hopes of making a difference, but it didn’t.
In the end I felt like a failure. I had put most of my art and my graphic novels on hold to work on Axent Wear, but somehow through the extreme highs of a successful crowdfunding, and the extreme stress of manufacturing, I lost my best friend, and lost the trust of a lot of my fans. Now that the headphones are finally out, I want to get back to my roots. I want to get back to just drawing and making comics about kite flyers and hackers. I still have to face the reality that my hands are not what they used to be, that I can’t just draw for hours and hours all day everyday without suffering constant pain. I had known this for years, and I had hoped that the money from the headphones would afford me helpers to speed up the comic making process, but that was a painful venture that caused more loss than gain in every way.
More recently, I discovered something that is more painful than losing my best friend, than all of the failure of Axent Wear combined. It’s a pain that I can’t put into words. I feel like I can never trust again, even though I know that’s not true, I can’t help but shrink away from people. I’m not trying to be vague, I just can’t bring myself to write more details. Right after my last post, I vomited repeatedly until I passed out. I’m not sure if it’s from the emotional pain and stress or just coincidental food poisoning, but I was not in a good place.
That was two weeks ago. I’m in a better place now. I haven’t been checking my e-mails or messages, but I will soon. I haven’t been posting art or tutorials, but I will soon. The pain is still here but the worst is gone and I will recover.
Looking onward to 2016, I have learned a lot from my past mistakes, and I will continue with my original goal of creating art and comics. I will create a Patreon account, and with enough support, I hope to speed up updates for Fisheye Placebo, and a remastered version of Knite too. I will continue to make art tutorials, more of the captioned speedpaints I’m already doing, and new voice over videos on specific techniques and topics. I will continue to go to as many conventions as I can, to hang out with old friends and to meet new friends as well. I will take responsibility for the mistakes I’ve made, be more cautious, and not give away my trust as easily; not to be cynical, just to be realistic. I will not be naive, I will not trust freely, I will trust responsibly. I will make the most of all the lessons life have given me, and face each day with new determination.
Thank you all again for everything. From being here to share the fun times, to learning and experiencing art together, to being caring, understanding, and always so supportive. I look forward to a 2016 with you all, sunshine and rain. Thank you!
I've been posting some video tutorials to teach aspiring artists my drawing techniques, but I think it's very important to learn from my mistakes as well.
I'm 25 right now, and I've been drawing all my life. I started drawing a lot more and professionally when I was about 19-20. I drew all the time and didn't think much about it. I would draw until I'm in pain, from sitting too long, from not eating because I was in the flow and didn't want to stop. I would get terrible back pains and even heart palpitations from sitting in the same position drawing for so long.
That's when the nails on my right hand started to get weird and lumpy. At first I thought it was a dietary thing, so I took vitamins, went to the doctors, exercised, changed things up but it was too late. It's been years now and 3 doctors later they couldn't fix it.
If it were just ugly nails, I wouldn't really care, but the nails are just the tip of how bad I've been treating my body. One time during a particularly hardcore drawing marathon, my right hand swelled up for a week. Nowadays I try to take it easy and take long breaks in between but the damage that has already been done can't be undone. I can only draw for so many hours in a day before I have to stop or I will get pains from my entire hand, arm, and shoulder.
Now I have a standing desk, ergonomic mouse, hand brace, and all that. I wish I had done these things sooner so I can keep drawing without restraint. I used to update my comics more frequently, but I can't realistically sustain that speed without hurting myself. (Hence I plan on doing a Patreon in the future so I can hire helpers to do some of the comic's background drawings)
In those speed paint tutorials where I paint within 1-2 hours, it may seem like I have it made, dishing out art in hours, but after those hours I have to massage my hand and arm. I can't draw for more than a few hours a day now without hurting.
When I was in college all I could think about is how to improve my skills, practice endlessly, and all that hard work has paid off in some ways but not in others. So please take care of your hands, and your general health. It seems obvious in retrospect but I never thought about it when I was younger that, hey maybe, just maybe, if you overwork and break your body, you won't be able to draw and create all you want anymore.
Take breaks, don't grip too hard, do hand exercises, do general exercises, get ergonomic mouse and a standing desk if you can (I just piled a bunch of books on my regular desk until it was tall enough) These are some of the few ways you can help your hand last in the long run
I've always wanted to do more tutorials to give back to the art community, but have been too busy in the past. Now I finally have some time and I've been uploading tutorial videos and speedpaint recordings to my Youtube channel!
Here are some of the ones I've done so far~
My very first test video for recording my work progress! This is just a sketchy speed paint for testing purposes, but in the future I plan on recording lots of my painting processes. Please let me know what you guys would like to see added in the videos, I can try audio narration of the techniques I'm using, or have captioned tutorial explanations
A while back I was visiting my childhood friend, and her mom asked me if I wanted some of the extra green onions they were growing in the backyard. I said sure and she came back with this monstrosity. They are the biggest green onions I've ever seen. The ones at the store are 10 inches long at the most, and I am 5 foot 6 inches so these green onions were at least 3 feet long!
I'm not sure why, but giant green onions make me ridiculously happy
In other news, check out my new website at YuumeiArt.com It’s still under construction with many pages missing, but it’s a start!
It's that time of the year again! Anime Expo is the biggest anime con in the West Coast and I'm super excited to be part of Artist Alley again this year. It's time to meet up with all my anime friends, make new friends, and have a crazy fun time!
I'll be at table C56 and C57 in the Artist Alley from July 2 - 5th with my prints, books, and more! Come by and say hi!
In other news. I have many things lined up. I know I haven't been very active due to the Axent Wear headphones but most of the issues have been sorted out and we're now on our way to production! I'll have a few flights to approve prototypes but other than that, I'll have my life back
On my to do list after AX is:
1. Continue Fisheye Placebo
2. Potential collaboration with Tapastic to remaster Knite and finish remaining half of the story.
3. New collaboration project with my biologist friends to help endangered species.
4. Make a Patreon account and do live streams plus tutorials.
5. Finally make an artbook, and open up online store.
6. Too many other things to list! (Design t-shirts, try sewing and cosplaying, help out with art installation at Burning Man, more astrophotography, etc)
Hi everyone! Thank you all so much for the amazing birthday wishes and gifts! <3 It's been a crazy year for me working on the Axent Wear cat ear headphones that I designed, and learning to deal with the unpleasant business side of things (my co-founder has been impossible to work with). Because of all that, I haven't been able work on my comics or draw as much as I used to. However, I'll be back into full swing soon with new comic updates and lots more art and tutorials. I've also been meaning to livestream for a long time now
With that said, I'm super exited to see all of my friends again and to make new friends at Fanime this year! I'll be there for the entire con from May 22-25 in the San Jose Convention Center. As usual, I'll be in the Artist Alley (table 623) with prints and more! Feel free to come by and hang out!
More info here www.sacanime.com/
And in other news, we've just finished filming the Axent Wear Kickstarter video. We're still waiting for some post production video editing but the kickstarter should launch within a few weeks! Thanks for all the support!
It's been a crazy busy summer with conventions and working on the Axent Wear headphones! I barely have time to work on anything else right now Q_Q
But anyway, I'll be at the J-Pop Summit in San Francisco's Japan Town this weekend 7/19-7/20th You can find me in the Kinokunia mall, on the 2nd floor near the elevators with books, prints, and more!
Come by and hang out! www.j-pop.com/2014/
I'm also honored to be part of deviantART's annual panels at San Diego Comic Con this year I look forward to seeing everyone again!
In the mean time, I've been working hard on making the 2nd prototype for the headphones. We are eager to release the Kickstarter as soon as possible. Once the headphones are on their way to production, I'll finally have time to finish the next Fisheye Placebo strip. I'm about half way done with the strip, though headphones have been keeping me very busy orz. But here's a preview of the next part!
Thanks for the support!
Anime Expo is finally coming up! It's the biggest anime convention of the year for me and I'm super excited to see everyone again As usual, I'll be in the artist alley with my prints and books!
The convention will take place at the Los Angeles Convention Center this July 3rd-6th. I will be at tables A/B 37-38 as shown in the map below. See you there!
Thank you all for the amazing support!
We've been over whelmed with comments and questions for the past week, so we would like to answer some frequently asked questions here!
A: We are currently working making a Kickstarter crowd funding campaign. Once the Kickstarter is up, hopefully in a month or two, you can pre-order through the Kickstarter. We will e-mail everyone and post the link to the Kickstarter when that happens. If you haven't signed up for e-mail updates yet, you can do so at www.axentwear.com/
Q: How much will the headphones cost?
A: We're aiming to keep the price as low as possible without compromising quality. The price we've decided on is $115.
Q: Will you ship internationally?
A: Yep! Though shipping prices will be different than domestic orders. We are not in control of how much shipping companies charge.
Q: Do the cat ear speakers actually work?
A: Yes, the speakers are fully functional so you can switch between listening to your music silently or sharing your music with your friends!
Q: Will they come in multiple colors?
A: Yes! And when you pre-order through our Kickstarter, you can vote on which top colors will be produced.
Q: Will they be wireless? Will they come with a mic? LED lights? And if so, will the LED lights change colors?
A: That will depend on how much money we can raise through Kickstarter. The more pre-orders we get, the more funds we have to add even more cool features to the headphones without increasing the cost to you! So when the Kickstarter goes live, please support us by pre-ordering a pair! The more fund we raise, the more features your headphones will have
A: Please be patient. We're still working out the final details of certain features. We want to be absolutely certain before we answer a question. If your question hasn't been answered yet, it will be in the near future so stay tuned!
Thank you all again for the amazing level of support! We look forward to bringing you a new music experience!
Hey guys It's that time of the year again! Fanime is one of the biggest anime cons on the west coast and I'm happy to be able to see many of my friends again and to make new ones as well!
The con is from May 23 - 26th, 2014, and it's held at the San Jose McEnery Convention center in California. As usual, I'll be in the Artist Alley with my prints My table number is 1213, in very deepest and darkest corner of the conventional hall lol. Come by and hang out, and we can all get dinner together too
Hey guys! It's con season again and I'll be at the Cherry Blossom Festival in San Francisco's Japantown this weekend (April 12-13th), and at Sakura Con in Seattle Washington the weekend after (April 18-20th). As usual, I'll be there with all of my prints, books, buttons, and cards!
My table location for the Cherry Blossom Festival is on the lower floor of the Japan Center, right outside the Kinokuniya book store entrance. For Sakura Con, I'll be in the Artist Alley at table 411. I was actually unable to get a table in time for this con, but a kind artist, mind-crash offered to share his with me We both look forward to meeting everyone and making new friends so come by and say hi!
Thank you everyone who has supported me and given me their valuable advice about how to deal with my family situation in China. I'm happy to say that my father and I are on much better terms now. It's honestly more than I could ever have hoped for and I haven't been this happy in a long time.
The comments you guys left really helped me believe in myself. Thanks to everyone's encouragement, I know I wasn't in the wrong. I was able to firmly explain my problems with my father. It took many long and heated discussions before we finally came to an understanding but it was definitely worth it. He eventually admitted that he was wrong, and shouldn't have brushed me aside as being "too bothersome" or not worth angering his crazy wife for. He said he regrets the way he treated me, and has promised to try to visit me once a year. It's really hard to put into words how much that means to me, and I truly thank you all for helping me get to this point.
I read in the comments that many have experienced similar or even worse family situations than mine. Looking back, I consider myself fortunate to have a father who is willing to change for the better. I sincerely hope everyone coming from a dysfunctional family can eventually find peace and reconcile. Before my father apologized, I never could have dreamed that he would ever do so. I was very close to not giving him another chance, but I'm glad I did. I guess what I'm trying to say is, for everyone out there who still hurting due to their family, don't give up just yet. I hope everyone can find happiness one way or another. As long as there is a tomorrow, there is still hope.
With that said, my flight back to the US is tomorrow morning. I'll be working hard on Fisheye Placebo and all the other things I've put aside due to this trip to China. Again, thank you guys for all the support through out all the years!
In other news, I'll be at Kraken Con this April 6th at the Oakland Convention Center with my prints and booksI really look forward to meeting everyone back in America again See you guys there!