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Tape it Back Together by yuumei Tape it Back Together by yuumei
My family has a complicated history of separation, immigration, divorce, and remarriage. I won't go into the details but my mom often said to me "It's my life, my choice, I do what I want. You have no right to judge me."

I'm 18, but as a 9 year old child at the time, I couldn't repeat what she said. I could only wonder "Your choice in life affects me too."

Divorce is such a fad these days. Half the people I know have divorced parents, and most of them aren't happy about it. I understand in some situations divorce is the only way, but when your choice affects more than just you, think of the consequences and choose wisely.

With that said, I also wrote a short visual novel about the subject and an interactive narrative .
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:iconichigonyannn:
IchigoNyannn Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2014  New member Student Traditional Artist
I haven't experienced a divorce yet, but I have experienced a near divorce... right on the edge. No. A bit over the edge. My parents were serious about divorcing, they even cause my brother and I to cry over it... And a do not cry often. At least, not in front of people. On that day that they made us cry, I tried desperately to fix it. Very desperately. I didn't want them to divorce, and my dad loves me so I think- no, I'm sure I broke him when I said I would stay with my mom, out of anger for something he said, but I think that if I hadn't said that... They would have divorced. My dad decided to stay, and not divorce. Laughs came back. Times together came back. Life is nice, though I was in depression for a while after what had occurred(and guess what? FAILED SO MANY TESTS TT-TT). They still quarrel a great deal but, there's no more talk about divorce and killing each other so.... Haha. And I'll just keep on drawing, and perhaps someday I can make them really proud.
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:icongiantstorylover:
giantstorylover Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2014
My parents are divorced too. But I was 15 or 16. 
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:iconsomedudefromearth:
somedudefromEARTH Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2014  New member Hobbyist Digital Artist
I am so grateful for the family I have, but my heart goes out to those who've gone through this experience...

Wonderful, touching picture.
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:iconenderflowerrussia:
enderflowerrussia Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
My parents divorced  when i was 8.I guess people would say i had a hard life.I lived in Canada till i was 5 with only one sibling , a little brother whom  was 3 .My dad got a job in the U.S.A so we packed up and moved.After 3 years of my life there my parents divorced  in the middle of my third year at my elementary school.After that back to Canada .There i lived in my grandfather house , with my mom and 5 year old brother.I thought i had friends but they were not as truthful or kind as they seemed.Like i said some people though my life was bad but  its not .I After only a year we moved back to america.My mom had started to date some one and moved back .The year prior she would take trips to america to visit him.He was the father of one of the first little boy/friend i had meet in america.And a year after that very thing was different.I had 2 step brothers as well as a 6 year old biological brother and a step father.You may blame yourself for the divorce, but its never your fault. My parents were always fighting and i barley saw my father.And after a while he never called, or sent birthday or Christmas present even forgetting to send them to my little brother his only son.But i know my life is not the worst.There is plenty of people out there who have a worse situations  than i did .But know this.No matter what situation , no matter what problem there is always an answer.Answer me this . Does night turn into day ? yes.Does rain ever stop ? yes.Does a wick ever start to burn with the help of a lighter or a match ? yes.So no matter what never forget that life , YOUR LIFE will ALWAYS have light at the end of a tunnel there is always a light.The "tape" or " glue " will come some day.
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:iconkokorosabishii:
KokoroSabishii Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2014
Aaaannd my heart is broken.
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:iconemeralddawn-16:
EmeraldDawn-16 Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
My parents devorced when I was around two years old. Despite not remembering it, it did affect me, though a little indirectly. I didn't have a mother until I was about 5, when my dad remarried. My birth mother never seemed to remember me, though my dad did his best to create the illusion that she loved me as dearly as my dad did, even going so far as to get presents, mail them with her address, and time it so that the 'presents' that were from my 'mother' arrived on my birthday. Yet she never called, never wrote...... And when I did go to her house, there were tons of presents, yet I rarely saw her during those visits.  Later on, I learned that my dad covered for her absense many times, and saw firsthand what she desired from me when I was older.

Even though my parents were devorced, I always wondered if it had been mine and my little sister's fault. My mother..... Was a partier, so being weighed down by two babies wasn't her style. While it hurt, it wasn't so bad when I grew older, learned my dad's side of the story, and saw my mother's personality from my own experiences. I knew that the devorce had been a good thing in my life, allowing a mother who was responsible to enter my life and fill the void that the  lack of a mother had caused.....
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:iconxelanesque:
xelanesque Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2014
I believe if you want a divorce then you should get one and do not let your kids get in the way of your life.
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:iconnamae-no-nai-uta:
namae-no-nai-uta Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
But at the same time, things like that negatively affect the child, and that's a horrible thing to do to a little kid who doesn't understand. Speaking from experience twice over, the child thinks it is their fault. "Mommy, does Daddy not love me anymore? Is that why he's gone?" Or vice-versa, in the case where the dad gets custody. It's not fair to the child, and no amount of reassurance will ever make it better. Sure, as the kid gets older and understands the world better, they learn that that really wasn't the case, but it's something that remains with them for the rest of their lives as a painful memory. The years of doubt over whether they were loved or not. The years where they should have had both parents to raise them together. Once you have a kid, you need to think of the well-being of that child as well as your own health. Having a child is not something to treat lightly, and your actions as a parent affect your child.

If the relationship between you and your partner is toxic, then yeah, by all means, get a divorce. But if it's just a conflict of interest, you should try and make it work as best as possible for the sake of your child. There are other ways to deal with a rocky marriage than divorce, and those methods should be employed first if you have a child.
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:icongraveyard-rose:
Graveyard-Rose Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
You can try not to make the same mistakes, and you can be sad about it, it's normal that the divorce of your parents affected you, and maybe it wasn't well treated when you were a kid.

But you have to try and understand your parents. With nine years the world seems a happy place, and your parents perfect people but if you grew up a little more in that enviroment of two people that don't love each other anymore but stay together just because of the kids, you would notice, you would see two not only not perfect people, but sad and frustrated. And that would hurt you too, and consume you, and probably give you a wrong impression of how relationships work.

Maybe your mother should not tell you about your right to judge, but that's a defense tactic... She was not happy about it either but perhaps it was the best choice, even to you; and you have to see that, and that they deserve to be happy too.
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:icontrafal-the-law:
Trafal-the-Law Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2014   Traditional Artist
families are over-rated and so are parents.
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