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Rumination is an experimental work I did for my Interactive Narratives class. The story plays out like a choose your own adventure book, but no matter what you choose, it all leads to the same ending.

The story is not meant to say that we have no choices in life, but that there is no point in ruminating about a past that can't be changed. I use to waste away my days dreaming about what I could have done to save my parents' marriage, only to wake up to the realization that the past is gone, but I still have a future ahead of me.

At the Garden of Forking Paths I made a choice. No regrets. I look ahead.

Related work: 1000 W0RDS by yuumei Tape it Back Together by yuumei

Music: Atlantean Twilight by…
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Dark-Mage-13 Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2016  Student General Artist
Looking back on this, I do have regrets on my relationship with my parents but I still lived a happy childhood with them. My mother married at 16 to escape her abusive household and to get money, a year later after she had her son, her husband was cheating on her and she filed for a divorce right away and raised my brother on her own. She met my dad shortly and waited a long time to get the courage to go through with their wedding, due to the less than faithful marriage she had causing her to be scared of another commitment and betrayal. She finally married my father and had me and my sisters. My brother was adopted by my dad and they got along great. Nearly two years ago my dad passed away all of a sudden after nearly 37 years of a happy marriage with my mom. My mom grew up with an alcoholic father and a spoiled mother who abused her brothers. She stood in the way to get her parents to stop beating her brothers, and she wanted away from her horrid situation.

To all who think it is their fault that their parents could not stay together or abuse each other: it is never your fault. There was nothing you could do. The future is bright and strong, and you can get your happy ending. You are loved and will always be loved.
iiPhoenixForce Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2016  New Deviant Student Digital Artist
This is amazing and Beautiful
homestucktrash176 Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
This was amazing and actually made me cry. I am going through what happened in this and i feel like it gave me that boost that i am not the only one that went through this. Thank you.
Robenako Featured By Owner Edited Dec 2, 2016  Hobbyist Artist
My father was always mean and rude to me. My mother was as well, but not as much. Also, everytime she lost control and was screaming at me and beating me up, she apologied. My father nerver did.My mother always spoke of seperating, but she never did. My father was gettig too much money, my mother was addicted to coke, ciggarets, buying clothes and other stuff. I'm still thirteen, but my father doesn't beat me up so much. In the last months you could say it's just 'growing up a child' and 'teaching them how to do things'. Even tho I know it's not like it. I wish my parents would seperate and I could live with my mother. But again, my father get paid well ...I dunno, I think I might just live here til I'm old enough to live alone or with my friends or something, so everything will be good anyway ^^
EDIT after reading some commets:Even tho my paretns are still married I cried playing this, I cried reading the commets, I feel like I never had parents. I'm the shiny kid.The perfect one. I have to be perfect. For my mother I'm perfect like this, because I'm pretty good. That's why she dosn't beat me up a lot or something. My father says I'm not perfect. My grades are the best in my class , but not in my whole school. I help cleaning and cooking, but I don't do it alone. I help wherever I can, but I often trip and fall over. Then I got yelled at. Then I got punched. Then my father talks to me.Like, what went wrong with me, that I'm so stupid. I have no brain. I'm worthless. Nobody likes me. Rude stuff like this....I never felt like having parents. Sometimes my father told my mother she never archieved something in her life or similar, then they fight for weeks. This happens every year once or twice. In this weeks, I have to cook, and have to avoid my parents, and I'm not allowed to flee to friends (hang out at their's).Sometimes I don't eat for days when this happens. No one knows, ecxept you, who is reading this. Sorry for spelling and sorry this is sooooo long....but it feels good to tell ^-^
Blueshamby Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2016
My father is not perfect. But still, I'm glad I have him by my side.. Beautiful work. 
Kyo-Neka Featured By Owner Edited Nov 7, 2016
When my parents got divorced I was 7 and my sister was 9 and we had blamed ourselves. Thinking we were too needy or just being over a baby.....They always fought over us and whenever they fought we would hold onto each other and just pray.....pray to have wings so we could fly far away and wouldn't have to deal with it anymore. Heh we never did get our wings. And as the years went on the fights got worse and more frequent, and i got between them telling them to stop but instead i got pushed so hard i fell onto our glass table breaking it and punctured a lung........they didn't notice until my sister cried for me. that was when they realized the effects of what their fighting had done. Later that month they got divorced and mom got custody on my sister and dad got me.......but they couldn't separate us so we both stayed with mom with occasional visits from dad. They still fight..... but i can tell mom is tired though. I'm not 16 my sister now 18......we don't see our dad anymore. And mom is always working  killing herself just to provide for us
jin-0 Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2016
I guess its hard, when your parents are together.. even if they don't want to be, it feels right, like everything is in its right place? Like the walls are where they are meant to be, and somehow because of this suddenly you can do anything, feel anything, make a difference. When they are apart it feels like the world can't cheer me up, and I feel hollow. Time spent with friends doesn't mean anything. And it feels like you are torn in half, that you'll never be whole again. It makes you re-evaluate wanting to be in a relationship, makes you think.. "Do I want my child to feel this way? Could I do it better? What went wrong? Did I do anything?" SO on that note I understand this narrative.
Monityme Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2016  Student Artist
I was thinking something to say, but all the comments of the people posting their own experiences left me without worlds. My parents didn't get divorced, so I don't really know how it feels to feel guilty about that. But reading the comments below I've seen that the message that you wanted to express was understood so well for them. Congratulations :3
yuka4608 Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2016
this is awesome
J3lueSt4R Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I miss my father....*sigh*..</3
River-SkittyCartoon Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2016
The first time I read this and " play " this story was a long ago. My parents were still together and I and my sister were happy.
It touched me a little, but I couldn't feel what the real feels were.

Until today.

My parents divorced a year ago, it was heartbreaking. I've never really thought it could happen to me. To my eyes, everything was... correct, happy, satisfying. And then, everything felt appart.
Now, I understand it better. I understand the hard choices. I understand how it is, to feel guilty. 
I maybe don't have the worst family situation ( I can see both my parents and they don't harm me ), but I'm feeling alone. Terribly alone. And this separation has changed me. I know it, my parent know it too, but they pretend not.
Sorry for my bad english ( feel free to correct me ). But, I want to say, thank you Yuumei, your art is inspiring and it helps a lot.

Thank you.
LittleMissLynx Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I thank you so so much for this work from you, yuumei! I´m really thankful.

Years ago I had mom, dad and a little sister. But my dad met another woman on his work (she is my stepmother today) and my mom started to prefer my little sister and beat me a lot in her rage and hate she started to felt for my dad. In the end she did suicide and my sister and I stand alone with dad and "the new one". Even today I think a lot about if I had could do something. Felt guilty for the suicide of my mom, even if she beat me every day for anything, felt guilty for my dad having a girlfriend even if he was married and had two little daugthers. I felt guilty for everything.

My grades failed, I started to hate my sister for she were prefered, locked myself away in my art, started to hate my father for having another girlfriend which was looking down to my like a piece of shit and to my sister and I were fleeing to my grandparents.
When I said to my family that I´m bisexual and was getting worse how my stepmother was acting to me.

Today I´m married with a wonderful man who is supporting me in my art and have very close relationship to my dad again. My stepmother still don´t like me and my sister and I don´t like her too but it´s ok. I realized that I have my own life and future, my wonderful husband, my friends, my art which helped me so much in the bad days.

A few days ago I had I had a phase again were I was dreaming If I had could do something, what were when I made other decisions.
You´re interactive experiment really helped me to getting back in my mind that everything is okay and there is no use in draeming about the past and no child, no woman, no man is guilty for the actions and decisions of their parents. Thank you so much yuumei!

Lovely Shoujo Emoji (Huggy Hug) [V2] 
nivupuchii Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I don't understand why, but the choice between the mother and the father was so hard for me. Your art inspires me so much.

When I was little, I had a small world. I had a mom, a dad, an older sister and a younger brother. It all changed when I was put into CPS. I found out my mother wasn't my mother. It tore my world apart. If she were my mother, I could have been able to say maybe, somewhere in her heart, she had some love for me. She regretted what she did - But she wasn't my mother. There was no reason to regret.

Eventually she left my father. I came to hate her for that, as my father began to treat me not as a daughter, but as a servant. More like a geisha in training. I'd get beat if my cooking wasn't good. My grades began to fail, and for that I was beat as well.

When I was 12, my father sexually assaulted me.

I couldn't find it in me to tell anyone, so I held it in. For two years I put on a happy facade, pretending everything was fine and that I wasn't spiraling into a pit of self deprecation.

My teacher noticed it however. She noticed that every drawing I created was morbid and depressing. She noticed me putting my soul into something that couldn't be explained.

She left the school. Again I found myself spiraling.

I eventually told. When I was 14 I told and ever since then I've regretted. I put him in jail and my grandmother became depressed because of this. It was my fault.
FlyLu Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
I do not know if this is real. Sadly, in thiss world there are people that would write this for attention. And i am sorry if this is a true story.
In the case it is, i want to say this.

I know that you think this is your fault, but it is not. I am not the strongest voice to you, and i am sure you heard it before.

What happened is not your fault. Not what happened to your parrents. Not what happened to your dad, and definetly not what he did to you.
You were a kid. A child that bad things happen to. And that is not fair.
Your dad was an adult. Where he is now, or where he was, was his own fault. He decided to do what he did to you, and that is not our fault-

I hope you have a better life the day today
nivupuchii Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Yeah, it's surprisingly true. dA is a big site, you're bound to run into people like me-- sadly enough.
FlyLu Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
It's okay, this world is not perfect, and what happened to you happens in this world.
This world is not the best place sometimes, but it's all we have.
late-night-writer Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Please don't feel as if it is your fault. It is not your fault. No one ever deserves for something like that to happen to them, especially by a parent. If you ever need someone to talk to, send me a note.
Kizu-E Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you. ;^;
pastelsundays Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2016   Traditional Artist
(;ω; )
SheRadioactive Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2016  Student General Artist
Feel my tears. I thought although this is sad, you have portrayed this situation beautifully, effectively showing the seriousness and sadness of any of these situations. I love this, Ill see what else you have.

A quick question if you don't mind, but how did you manage to do this? Its very inspiring and I might wish to try someday,


And keep up the Majestic work! 
noaperlasus Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
To strange :v
IceHasNoSanity Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
This is absolutely beautiful and I can't begin to imagine what it's like for other people. I have a somewhat similar situation so I feel I can empathize, however.. I never had much of a choice since this somewhat went on at my birth. I had to stay with my mother and I love her with all my heart and I'm glad it's like that, but I wish I could help those who don't have it like me.

Thanks for making this ;n;
The children.. ;n;
ATALIASHUNSHION Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
hum.. I cannot imagine ... I'm so lucky...
TekinaFiction Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2016  Student General Artist
This says so much that needs to be said.

During this, I was always finding an option in the middle. But there wasn't any.

Inspiring work, as always.
burketthayden Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2016
my life...
Sabernode Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
This makes me remember when my parents divorced, 12 years and my mom said she didn't love my dad and I blamed myself up until a few years ago when my best friend and sister from another family, told me different, and things like that happen. Your posts are really appreciative, and inspire me. I love people like you <3
ReiYukiro Featured By Owner May 20, 2016  Hobbyist
This forced me think about my past the day when dad told me and mom about his leaving to another woman who was his 1st love... he left mom after 18 years. First i thought it was all my fault but after few years i figured out why their relationship didn't worked like in any other families but there is still one big mystery for me maybe one day i will figure it out maybe not. It's sad every divorce the childrens have it worst they think it's theirs fault but mostly it's not. I hope for everyone who experienced this will one day find answers for their questions and don't loose hope Meow :3 
ink1brazen Featured By Owner May 18, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
powerful and much needed message. thank you.
coraajna Featured By Owner May 9, 2016  Student Writer
This was incredible! I am going through something similar so I understand where you are coming from. Thank You. :hug:
arihui Featured By Owner May 3, 2016
LoZGamer316 Featured By Owner May 1, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Chisaki Crying Icon Damn...
lovemermaid20 Featured By Owner May 1, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist

still love it tho :sad: 
animegirl38 Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Wow this hit me , I know how it feels to have your parents divorce. Mine have never agreed on anything and argued a lot, and I felt so scared that it was our fault ( Me and my two brothers ) that the separated. Two years past and I now look back and see that it was never us that drove them apart, but they did it For us. I know that my parents love us, but it still hurts to realize things can never be the same for them.  So with that, Thank you for this.
Zypex117 Featured By Owner Apr 27, 2016
I found something similar to this…
At first I thought it was yuumeis but it seems otherwise.
TMihiT Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
i admir your art and your talent! Wow ~ it was amazing! <3 
MishukoEmi Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
wow... this is amazing. i love things like this that make you think. this is amazing... im gonna go cry for an hour...
BurningHarmony Featured By Owner Apr 9, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
this is ....I can't even find fords for it :'(
BIBABianca3210 Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Fords? i think you meant words...
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Submitted on
June 27, 2011
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