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I'm Not Okay

By
yuumei
Published:
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Description

I've been pretty out of it for the past 2 weeks due to certain unpleasant discoveries about my personal life. I've been trying to keep it up, keep posting art and tutorials but I'm just really not feeling it and probably won't be for the next few weeks. 

Apologies in advance. 

I feel like I grew up on the internet. As a child of dysfunctional families, I could always seek comfort by venting out the pain to everyone. It helped me get by the most bleak days when my mom was suicidal and going through so many divorces. 

It's not that I don't feel that connection anymore. I'm sure if I opened up to everyone, I would have the same amazing support I always had while growing up, but as an "adult", I find myself unable to open up as freely as I once did. 

I'm confused and hurt, bottling up the pain and pretending everything will be okay. Logically, I know everything will be okay eventually. In time, when I look back on this day, I will think that's just a part of life, how silly to waste away over these things, but in this moment I'm losing it. 

I don't mean to be vague, I just don't know how to put everything into words. Between the conflicting emotions of spilling my heart out and keeping it together, all I can say is I'm not okay.
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Juilvs's avatar
Juilvs

It is indeed good to take a break, I along others will be waiting yet checking in now and then.


It will be okay in the end, if its not okay, then its not the end. You did your best and thats what matters


coming from me i would not know what to do in that situation

but I do know that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel


everytime I cry alone, the light follows me, trying to reach me yet being pushed away from my emotions but everytime i cry, the pain runs out making the light reach me and hug me.

What im trying to say is that its great to have a cry now and then.


People like us, in the comments, right here, right now are always here for you. You dont have to be afraid.


...


I do wish you the best of days, the best of memories you will make once you're better but


i know im late but if you're ever feeling sad, you can talk to us, we're always here ready for anything

I wish you the best and stay strong


it will be okay in the end