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Don't Be Selfish by yuumei Don't Be Selfish by yuumei

I was recently informed that my dad may not have much longer to live due to heart conditions, but of all the things to do before his death, seeing me is not one of them because his wife won’t allow it and he can’t be bothered to care. It’s weird to find out that while my dad is still alive, the last time I saw him 3 years ago is the last time I will ever see him again.

It’s hard to fight back the memories of how much things have changed since my youth, so I will just embrace it instead.

It’s funny how they used to say that they did everything for my sake. I’m sure they actually believed it themselves back then, but time has a way of changing people. I can’t help but find it ironic that the things they did to help the family ultimately torn it apart. Never coming home to make money, going abroad to study; distance makes the heart grow cold, and time weathers down all promises.

I had always been very understanding of their divorce. Hey, it happens. But as they built new lives, it became evident that I was not included. It doesn’t matter now, but at the time, I was still a minor and had to depend on them. It’s just like a slap in the face when your own mother tells you that you have nothing because your father didn’t pay for it. Adding to the list of things I don’t have is the right to see my dad before his death. The leftover child of that failed marriage is no longer a concern.

I feel so bitter right now it’s fucking disgusting.
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jason028 Featured By Owner 3 days ago  New Deviant
 I wanted to leave a little comment to support you and wish you a good continuation. Wishing you the best of luck for all your blogging efforts. Spartagen XT coupons
AlulaDreamCreations Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2015  Student Traditional Artist
this story was so heart breaking that it brought me to tears. all your art is so incredible and meaningful that i look up to you greatly. you produce so much emotion in your works that for a moment i feel the pain you have felt. 
thank you for sharing your story.
PapierowySzczur Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2015  New Deviant
I know that much of time passed, but I feel sorry for you. I hope you'll have happier life now. I hope also, that you would have good connection with your family, actual and future...
G1prime Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2015  Student Writer
I just wanna hug you man
gilky698 Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2015
I simply discovered your website and needed to say that I have truly delighted in perusing your blog entries.  sky customer services number
PapierowySzczur Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2015  New Deviant
Perfidious Spammer 
yoakechi Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2015  New Deviant Hobbyist General Artist
I don't even know what to say. It moved me so much that... I really don't know what to say.
ny4321 Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2015
Hey  im sorry. I'm really sorry but don't worry there are people here who really care about you. Just know you rock and I think your parents are missing out on something great.
Ask-Mary-Of-Ib Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I cried, this is a lovely piece and it was so moving.
G1prime Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2015  Student Writer
G1prime *Hugs*
Kaida-nee Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2015  Student Writer
It's kinda sad that I understand the divorce part but nothing else. Even though my parents relationship failed, they tried their hardest to make sure I didn't notice. And I didn't until they told me. And even though we don't all live together and I have a half brother now, and a step-mother, they want me to be apart of their family, my brother adores me and my step-mom tries to take care of me. So when I saw this, I cried. Not out of pity but out of respect.
To me, your important. You care about the world's issues and people's issues so all I can do is admire you and stare in awe of you and your art. "Don't be selfish." I don't think anyone has ever told me that, but I MADE it a point not to be. But you weren't selfish. You were just a child wanting to be in the comfort of your parents, to be happy with them. It was only natural for you to cry for them, to want to be with them, there is nothing selfish about a child's want to see her family, to be apart of a family. So even though I admire and respect you, I don't pity you, mostly because I being pitied by others.
With your permission, can I use this as a base for a story. Most of your art just pumps me up, but this gives me more than inspiration. It kinda scary me that my fingers are just twitching to write about this!
Ceylon-Morphe286 Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
this describes my life so much.
MarshmallowMishel Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Your art is so powerful it can move people to tears , it's admirable to be able to move forward and to continue doing what you love the way you did .
All of your watchers will always be here to support you <3.
TheColdplayer Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2015  New Deviant Student
My mom is dating this person who I hate so much that i basically keep myself holed up in my room the ENTIRE time he's at my house. I go in my room and cry hot tears of anger and pain and sometimes wish that they were dead. I've told my dad, my awesome dad, how I really don't want to live at my mom's house anymore. He told me,"Alyssa, I want you and her to try to get along better, ok?" No, it's not ok. It's not ok to go back and try to love someone you hate so much, someone who you'd rather die than end up as. You can't turn back when you've seen so much, decided to change your life in order to become as independent as a 13 yr old can, to not end up like your mother in any way. When you've decided to get top grades in order to have any possibility for your future, playing soccer to get your mind off everything and maybe even get a scholarship for soccer in the future, ended up drawing some horrifying pictures to express the pain you've been through, you really don't look back at the person you used to be and say, "Hey, I wish I could be her and have the future that little girl was going to have." Because after all those years, you realize that the little girl might as well be a stranger.
Ceylon-Morphe286 Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
your not alone,my mom is married to someone i hate.
REDBEASTMK1 Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2015
DAMN IT I STARTING CRYING CRYING WHEN I SAW THIS!!!!! Its just so depressing to hear about this, is he still alive? did anything change about him being allowed to see you? i realise that i'm 3 years late but i'm still hoping for the best for you. and don't think of yourself as the leftover child of a failed marriage, you have the capacity to make yourself transcend your parents ideals about you and make them regret their ways. also do you want a hug? cos i know the feeling of having parental conflict while growing up(i recently turned 16 so yh still a minor).
BlueHairRulz124 Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh my god I just started bawling while reading this... I just dont even know what to say... I feel for you
ChaosOmega88 Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2015
You are a strong person if you can still stand up after this if this were to happen to me I would probably have a mental breakdown and become an insane Psychopath and God  knows what would happen to the people who would do that.
skullsmasher201 Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2015  Hobbyist Artist
 I'm so sorry for you! I know what you're going through. My dad had heart conditions too but my mom didn't even bother to tell me he was dying my last time I saw him was my ninth birthday. it was really hard for me when he died I lost him on Halloween which was my favorite holiday but instead of crying when my mom and uncle first told me I sat there in shock.  My mom keeps telling me it's better that he died or I wouldn't be such a strong sweet teenager and I just say ok. But inside my heart breaks every time I see or hear that someone a person loved died or is dying. I act and look like I'm happy but as you said : I'm ready to wake up now.
Aowna Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
*starting to cry while reading*
  that's why i hate people...
thegirlonthe55a Featured By Owner May 25, 2015
That was really moving
I kinda want sequel because I want to know what happens next
Did you get a happy ending
Almatheja Featured By Owner May 17, 2015  Professional General Artist
'Don't be selfish and let me be child forever.'
jkim555 Featured By Owner May 6, 2015
What can I say man! Being left out or being alone is like the worst thing
Don't make me cry!!!
Bassemobil Featured By Owner May 4, 2015  Student General Artist
You know, this is just what humans are best at.
NobodyPuppetPrincess Featured By Owner May 1, 2015  Hobbyist
<3 *hugs
cupcakealina Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2015
Oooooowww... I understand you, divorce is terrible... but don't give up! Life is a b***h Oshawott swag , so you need to fight it back and be strong...  Chizuru and Kaichou Mokyu Cuteness [V1] Thumbs up - Chat icon 
Dragongurls Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2015
Welcome to reality
OkamiNiki Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2015
thefridgeandme Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2015  Student Traditional Artist
Well, this made me cry. Heart wrenching, and relatable. 
RavenBlack15 Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2015  Hobbyist Artist
So heart wrenching. </3
AnimeLuvr4evahAnita Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2015   Traditional Artist
Asian parents eh?
thami67 Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
I know it's hard, believe me I know. I have a difficult and sorta similar situation going on right now. But soon you get to leave and never look back and when they come to you for help, you can turn away from them just as they did. They won't get away with it for long. Stay strong and remember you have your followers!
YsabeauValikov Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm gonna cry
origamiakatsuki101 Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
(clapclapclap)....And ladies and gentlemen another reason I hate people sometimes.
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