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November 13, 2012
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Don't Be Selfish by yuumei Don't Be Selfish by yuumei
I was recently informed that my dad may not have much longer to live due to heart conditions, but of all the things to do before his death, seeing me is not one of them because his wife wonít allow it and he canít be bothered to care. Itís weird to find out that while my dad is still alive, the last time I saw him 3 years ago is the last time I will ever see him again.

Itís hard to fight back the memories of how much things have changed since my youth, so I will just embrace it instead.

Itís funny how they used to say that they did everything for my sake. Iím sure they actually believed it themselves back then, but time has a way of changing people. I canít help but find it ironic that the things they did to help the family ultimately torn it apart. Never coming home to make money, going abroad to study; distance makes the heart grow cold, and time weathers down all promises.

I had always been very understanding of their divorce. Hey, it happens. But as they built new lives, it became evident that I was not included. It doesnít matter now, but at the time, I was still a minor and had to depend on them. Itís just like a slap in the face when your own mother tells you that you have nothing because your father didnít pay for it. Adding to the list of things I donít have is the right to see my dad before his death. The leftover child of that failed marriage is no longer a concern.


I feel so bitter right now itís fucking disgusting.
Add a Comment:
 
:icontemari102:
temari102 Featured By Owner 2 days ago  Hobbyist Artist
*hugs*
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:iconlady-warrior:
lady-warrior Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2015
:(
Reply
:iconkokoakai:
KokoAkai Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2015
... So heartbreaking... Llama Emoji-08 (Crying) [V1] 
Reply
:iconangelbloodeyes1:
AngelBloodEyes1 Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2015  New member
Wow just wow 
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:iconartnoobist:
artNoobist Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2015  New member Student Traditional Artist
wow....speechless...
Reply
:iconshinihime964:
Shinihime964 Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2015  Student General Artist
There is nothing that I can say with words.
Yuumei, you have my tears.
Reply
:iconstorme67:
Storme67 Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
I actually teared up at this. Beautiful work, and my support is with you in every way.
Reply
:iconenchantixserenabloom:
Enchantixserenabloom Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2014  New member Student Artist
I'm speechless sorry :( (Sad)  I hope you feel better and your in my thoughts......Heart 
Reply
:iconblackoutdotexe:
BlackOutDotEXE Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
my god....
I'm speechless
Reply
:iconvoyflane:
voyflane Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2014  New member
but...   but how do you wake up if you're ten years old?
Reply
:iconzarffyn:
Zarffyn Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2014
That is one of the saddest things I've read. My family's situation is pretty much the exact opposite of yours. Still together loving parents and all. I think it made me realize how much luck I have.

This comic is two years old, so no idea if it's still valid or not. But if you want to see your dad. Go for it. Don't listen to this new wife or anybody else.

Keep well, and thanks for sharing.
Reply
:icondawnroseofredwall:
DawnroseofRedwall Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
I guess whatever we say doesn't really matter, but still, I'm sorry. I hope...I hope you will make your life better, and.... be alright. Remember, there are people who respect and admire you. I think it helps when you feel down. :)
Reply
:iconvasynda:
Vasynda Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2014  Student Digital Artist
I can't really relate to this. My parents died when I was seven. Seen all manners of Hell, still seeing it. But keep in mind, even if your father's wife wouldn't allow it, sometimes you just got to push right on through and grab that last final moment. Even if you get shit for it afterwords, you'll be glad you did it.
Reply
:icondeathpantherz:
DeathPantherz Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Omg... I actually shed a tear... Holy shit... *hug*
Reply
:iconbook-box:
Book-Box Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2014  Student Digital Artist
me too. This is really sad
Reply
:iconnakamura-ch4n:
nakamura-ch4n Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2014  New member Hobbyist General Artist
*hugs* Don't you ever feel that way! 

yuumei I know this was posted long ago but I must say that you must not think of yourself as bitter or disgusting... I am sorry for your father's passing but even then it was cold of him to not fight his new wife for the right to see you, as for your mother well she wasn't nice herself (reminds me of my mother). But do not fret yuumei, you are awesome!!! 

Your art is AMAZING and not to mention you made those cat ear headphones a reality!! You have my support and not to mention my contribution to your cat ear headphones campaign! :3 

STAY AWESOME!!
Reply
:icontempestofazure:
tempestofazure Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
When I first saw the title of this comic and the thumbnail I was expecting something ironic or funny, and even as I read the first few panels I thought it might not become as sad as it ended up being. It took me by surprise that it ended up this upsetting, and even more so that it wasn't based in fiction. There are no words that I can think to say to offer comfort, and I'm sorry I can't relate to your situation and I won't pretend to understand it. All I can think to say is you seem like a kind and thoughtful person, and I hope things have gotten better for you and continue to do so.
Reply
:iconanimegirlmlp:
animegirlMLP Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2014
I'm ready to wake up.
Reply
:iconhorseluv1223:
horseluv1223 Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I think we all need to wake up
Reply
:iconkai-er:
Kai-Er Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2014  New member
I saw this over on Meta Picture and found my way here, because I wanted to address you in hopes of bringing some relief to your pain.

I honestly do hope you overcome this and rush forward into life with happiness.  It will take some time.  Reinvent yourself into who you are aside from the negativity that has been dumped on you in life.

I could tell from the first panel in that drawing that you were either Chinese or Chinese ethnic.  While divorce and abandonment are universal, there were some things about your drawing that I've seen played out here in China, over and over again.  (I'm not Chinese/Chinese ethnic.)

Break that cycle and share joy in your own child's life, if you go in that direction.

I'm dealing with a complete family abandonment as well, and I only get stronger every day.  Be your own family, treat others how you were not, thrive off of those good vibes you give others, because they will be given back to you in return.  I'm 11,000 miles from my "family", but now I've got a family of 1.3 billion, and I treat them all how I wish to be treated.  And just like any family, there are ups and downs, but the goodness I get in return for the goodness I show others... that washes over the feelings I get from those who have abandoned me.

Being informed of my mother's death by email was the hardest, but I've overcome that as well.  Keep pushing forward and don't let their negativity, or the negativity from those they are with, keep you down.

Smile once in a while.  You may have to search for the things to smile about, but they are there.  Heck, some stranger just surfed around the web, trying to find you and reassure you that life won't always suck... There's one thing to smile about.

If that doesn't do it... imagine farting in a bathtub full of jello.  Just smile.
Reply
:iconkishinslayer:
KishinSlayer Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
A salute to you, my fellow deviantARTist! I have not gone through the same experiences as you, so I cannot hope to even begin to empathize with you. You deserve so much for your strength. You have enlightened me, and I am truly thankful!
Reply
:iconavadaxxxkedavra:
avadaxxxkedavra Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2014
I can't believe how selfish and horrible some parents can be. You are so strong to have gone through that. I could not imagine how it must feel to have your parents turn their backs on you. 
Reply
:iconjavabeanjohnny:
JavaBeanJohnny Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
It takes a lot of strength to go through that, im so glad you decided to focus on your art rather than let it waste away in a depression. im actually slightly jealous, cus its taken me so long to find my passion, and even so I am trying to make a drive or figure out what I wanna do.

God bless you.
Reply
:iconseifirosu:
Seifirosu Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2014
This was posted on iwastesomuchtime.com, that's how I got here. It sounds like a pretty toxic environment to grow up in, I hope you are out of that situation now, and that you smack the crap out of your father's wife.
Reply
:iconjavabeanjohnny:
JavaBeanJohnny Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thats where I saw it also!! SOMUCHFEELS WAAAAH XCCCC
Reply
:icontaiya001:
Taiya001 Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
:tighthug: I am so so so sorry.
Reply
:iconhellspawn626:
Hellspawn626 Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2014
I know that it has been a while since you posted this, but I felt the need to respond to it regardless. While my experiences with my parents are nowhere near as bad as yours, they haven't been stellar. I've found myself getting the shaft in regards to my father's relationships since my parents got divorced, so I can understand what you're going through, even if only by a small part. You have an enormous community online that supports and respects you, and while we are in no way capable of replacing what you've lost, we want to help in any way we can.
I've purchased from your table at Fanime Con for two years now, so after reading this I know that you've found your place despite these problems, and I think it is nothing short of incredible. We wish you the best.
Reply
:icon7thstar:
7thstar Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2014
I can't believe that your parents are like that. I can only hope that Axent Wear will be a huge success.
Reply
:icondarkdragontanis:
DarkDragonTanis Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2014
o.o/  i just found this comic strip on facebook withount crediting its yours 
9gag.com/gag/areVYrp?ref=fb.s.…
Reply
:iconfoxfoxfox3:
foxfoxfox3 Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Well that hurts the shit outta my heart.
Reply
:iconariodante28:
ariodante28 Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2014
You and your relations will be in my thoughts. </3
Reply
:iconalxlpz:
Alxlpz Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2014
Hang in there I hope you have friends that support you in these difficult times. Go Out and live if you don't think about it it won't hurt you more. 
Reply
:iconnanne24:
Nanne24 Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2014  Hobbyist
Many people go through this including my boyfriend. It hurts to see him down in the dumps, saying he wants to quit his job, his education, and his life. I always remind him he has people who love him and are willing to help carry his burden. For everyone here in deviant we support and care about you. Your not selfish....your just lonely and its ok. We are here. Your not alone on this, let us help......so take our hands, silly nilly. Komari Kamikita (Smile) [V1] 
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:iconfarelle:
Farelle Featured By Owner Edited Oct 19, 2014  Student General Artist
it sounds alot like they tried to avoid having much to do with each other...they got frustrated and maybe exhausted and unsatisfied with their lifes, but instead of trying to find a solution together or look in themselves for what they are missing they made the other partner at fault for all their problems...and since you are a result of THEM, they maybe couldn't see past it anymore that you are both AND yourself and that whenever they look at you they will see all those undealt problems they had with each other....
They love you and they probably love each other still, but just can't see past it, so they had to lie to themselves and you, to protect their own worlds and why it couldn't be themselves...

I think i know how you feel and I agree, I never had a problems with my parents divorcing either, but WHAT broke me in my childhood, was that stupid behavior of my dad who talked my mom bad and kinda forced me to not see her again and on top of that telling me all the time that I'm like my mom....it is disgusting, how running away from problems and denying them is actually worst thing someone can do in my opinion to a child...and maybe they even thought its better for you to not know everything
Reply
:iconsheanar:
sheanar Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2014
I'm so sorry to hear what happened to you. It was horribly unfair and no child should be treated that way. Clearly a lot of parents do those things, as your image made it to 9gag and all over because it resonates with people everywhere. I realize this post is pretty old, so I hope you're doing okay now. 
Reply
:iconc3rb3ruz:
C3rb3ruz Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2014
If I am given a chance, I would love to burn down their houses for you.
I would do so, if I were you. You are nothing but problems to them, you are nothing but pile of shit to them.
If-I-were-you...I WILL destroy EVERYTHING that made me bitterly sad or angry. Whatever it takes.

For now, I can only recommend you to survive. Make an opportunity for your own benefit for a moment, even if it means "using" them.
They have been like a "parasite" in your life, now, it is time to return the favor.

Good luck.
Reply
:iconstoryteller21:
Storyteller21 Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2014   Writer
It seems like someone else has mentioned it, but 9gag.com/gag/areVYrp has used your work and as far as I can see, there's no credit to you 
Reply
:iconsilverwindx:
SilverWindx Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2014
I don't know your policy on sharing your work but this did appear on 9gag.com 9gag.com/gag/areVYrp
Reply
:icon1smilechangesall:
1smilechangesall Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2014
This made me tear up. I know you must have gotten a lot of these kinds of messages, but please keep your head held high.
Your an amazingly strong person and you should know that.
Your parents...? They're missing out on someone valuable.
Reply
:icon1smilechangesall:
1smilechangesall Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2014
This made my tear up. :'( I'm know you must have gotten a lot of posts like this, but please keep your head high.
You're an amazingly strong person and you should know that. <3 
Your parents... They're really missing out on someone valuable.
Reply
:icondetachedillusions:
DetachedIllusions Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2014
Hey Yuumei, I'm not going to try to say that I understand what you're going through but even though there are a lot of people that are inspired by what you do and that is something important. Just wanted to let you know that there are a lot of people that care about how you are doing and those sorts of things. (Seeing as there are already 7514 comments) But anyways hope you fell better soon :)
Reply
:iconpulangpagi:
pulangpagi Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2014
Your parents did not know what they miss. They are the ones who let go of the opportunity to raise a cool person like you. it's their loss.
Reply
:iconmisaohayashi:
MisaOhayashi Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I don't know what it's like to have parents that are divorced or anything like that but if my parents ever did I think I would be consumed with hatred. I was fortunate to have parents that only married once to each other, only had kids with each other, and have stuck it out no matter what. But this thoroughly describes the effect someone's own selfishness can do. Ironic that the parents were the ones constantly telling their child not to be selfish when they were the selfish ones. I really do wish for your happiness.
Reply
:iconabsp2006:
absp2006 Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2014
...OWWW....
Reply
:iconstrawhatdshaina:
StrawhatDShaina Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
now then , aint this how my life is going to end ?

But it's okay ! Ive still got my self ! And for you , your friends and admirers are still there ( even the ones on dA ) :D
Reply
:iconthe-oni:
The-Oni Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2014
yuumei! Hang in there!

I can't imagine how it must hurt your heart to be left alone like this! But if you need any shoulder to cry on, count on me!
I know you will find people who you will care and will care for you more than anything.
Reply
:iconxxxpixee-stikkxxx:
xxxPixee-Stikkxxx Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2014
I understand. My parents broke up before I was born. My dad told me he didn't love me, and never did, when I was 3. He has 3 other kids he's been there for, and never was for me. My mom, upon having a baby a little over a year ago, told me that she was getting a second chance, and later said I was a disappointment. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm all ears.
Reply
:iconajinu-okami:
AJInu-Okami Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I don't know if you want my sympathy, but :tighthug: Always know that you will/are be/a better person than your 'parents'.
Reply
:iconsplitsec10:
splitsec10 Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm so sorry. I cried because i get to see my father three or four times a year and I'm grateful for it, but i couldn't imagine it if i was you. Your story really touched me since I'm from a broken home like yours and heard the same words before. :icondoctorhugplz:
Reply
:iconjuke16:
Juke16 Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2014
Hugs for you and anyone else in this situation, but why not give reconciliation a try, if it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out, but hey, you never know if your dad's really been sorry for everything that's happened till you try. If it doesn't work out, you lose nothing, but it's something you can't do once he's dead no?
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