I was recently informed that my dad may not have much longer to live due to heart conditions, but of all the things to do before his death, seeing me is not one of them because his wife wonít allow it and he canít be bothered to care. Itís weird to find out that while my dad is still alive, the last time I saw him 3 years ago is the last time I will ever see him again.
Itís hard to fight back the memories of how much things have changed since my youth, so I will just embrace it instead.
Itís funny how they used to say that they did everything for my sake. Iím sure they actually believed it themselves back then, but time has a way of changing people. I canít help but find it ironic that the things they did to help the family ultimately torn it apart. Never coming home to make money, going abroad to study; distance makes the heart grow cold, and time weathers down all promises.
I had always been very understanding of their divorce. Hey, it happens. But as they built new lives, it became evident that I was not included. It doesnít matter now, but at the time, I was still a minor and had to depend on them. Itís just like a slap in the face when your own mother tells you that you have nothing because your father didnít pay for it. Adding to the list of things I donít have is the right to see my dad before his death. The leftover child of that failed marriage is no longer a concern.
I feel so bitter right now itís fucking disgusting.