I was recently informed that my dad may not have much longer to live due to heart conditions, but of all the things to do before his death, seeing me is not one of them because his wife won’t allow it and he can’t be bothered to care. It’s weird to find out that while my dad is still alive, the last time I saw him 3 years ago is the last time I will ever see him again.
It’s hard to fight back the memories of how much things have changed since my youth, so I will just embrace it instead.
It’s funny how they used to say that they did everything for my sake. I’m sure they actually believed it themselves back then, but time has a way of changing people. I can’t help but find it ironic that the things they did to help the family ultimately torn it apart. Never coming home to make money, going abroad to study; distance makes the heart grow cold, and time weathers down all promises.
I had always been very understanding of their divorce. Hey, it happens. But as they built new lives, it became evident that I was not included. It doesn’t matter now, but at the time, I was still a minor and had to depend on them. It’s just like a slap in the face when your own mother tells you that you have nothing because your father didn’t pay for it. Adding to the list of things I don’t have is the right to see my dad before his death. The leftover child of that failed marriage is no longer a concern.
I feel so bitter right now it’s fucking disgusting.
yuumei I know this was posted long ago but I must say that you must not think of yourself as bitter or disgusting... I am sorry for your father's passing but even then it was cold of him to not fight his new wife for the right to see you, as for your mother well she wasn't nice herself (reminds me of my mother). But do not fret yuumei, you are awesome!!!
Your art is AMAZING and not to mention you made those cat ear headphones a reality!! You have my support and not to mention my contribution to your cat ear headphones campaign! :3
STAY AWESOME!!
I honestly do hope you overcome this and rush forward into life with happiness. It will take some time. Reinvent yourself into who you are aside from the negativity that has been dumped on you in life.
I could tell from the first panel in that drawing that you were either Chinese or Chinese ethnic. While divorce and abandonment are universal, there were some things about your drawing that I've seen played out here in China, over and over again. (I'm not Chinese/Chinese ethnic.)
Break that cycle and share joy in your own child's life, if you go in that direction.
I'm dealing with a complete family abandonment as well, and I only get stronger every day. Be your own family, treat others how you were not, thrive off of those good vibes you give others, because they will be given back to you in return. I'm 11,000 miles from my "family", but now I've got a family of 1.3 billion, and I treat them all how I wish to be treated. And just like any family, there are ups and downs, but the goodness I get in return for the goodness I show others... that washes over the feelings I get from those who have abandoned me.
Being informed of my mother's death by email was the hardest, but I've overcome that as well. Keep pushing forward and don't let their negativity, or the negativity from those they are with, keep you down.
Smile once in a while. You may have to search for the things to smile about, but they are there. Heck, some stranger just surfed around the web, trying to find you and reassure you that life won't always suck... There's one thing to smile about.
If that doesn't do it... imagine farting in a bathtub full of jello. Just smile.