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Don't Be Selfish by yuumei Don't Be Selfish by yuumei
I was recently informed that my dad may not have much longer to live due to heart conditions, but of all the things to do before his death, seeing me is not one of them because his wife wonít allow it and he canít be bothered to care. Itís weird to find out that while my dad is still alive, the last time I saw him 3 years ago is the last time I will ever see him again.

Itís hard to fight back the memories of how much things have changed since my youth, so I will just embrace it instead.

Itís funny how they used to say that they did everything for my sake. Iím sure they actually believed it themselves back then, but time has a way of changing people. I canít help but find it ironic that the things they did to help the family ultimately torn it apart. Never coming home to make money, going abroad to study; distance makes the heart grow cold, and time weathers down all promises.

I had always been very understanding of their divorce. Hey, it happens. But as they built new lives, it became evident that I was not included. It doesnít matter now, but at the time, I was still a minor and had to depend on them. Itís just like a slap in the face when your own mother tells you that you have nothing because your father didnít pay for it. Adding to the list of things I donít have is the right to see my dad before his death. The leftover child of that failed marriage is no longer a concern.

I feel so bitter right now itís fucking disgusting.
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TheColdplayer Featured By Owner 4 days ago  New Deviant Student
My mom is dating this person who I hate so much that i basically keep myself holed up in my room the ENTIRE time he's at my house. I go in my room and cry hot tears of anger and pain and sometimes wish that they were dead. I've told my dad, my awesome dad, how I really don't want to live at my mom's house anymore. He told me,"Alyssa, I want you and her to try to get along better, ok?" No, it's not ok. It's not ok to go back and try to love someone you hate so much, someone who you'd rather die than end up as. You can't turn back when you've seen so much, decided to change your life in order to become as independent as a 13 yr old can, to not end up like your mother in any way. When you've decided to get top grades in order to have any possibility for your future, playing soccer to get your mind off everything and maybe even get a scholarship for soccer in the future, ended up drawing some horrifying pictures to express the pain you've been through, you really don't look back at the person you used to be and say, "Hey, I wish I could be her and have the future that little girl was going to have." Because after all those years, you realize that the little girl might as well be a stranger.
REDBEASTMK1 Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2015  New Deviant
DAMN IT I STARTING CRYING CRYING WHEN I SAW THIS!!!!! Its just so depressing to hear about this, is he still alive? did anything change about him being allowed to see you? i realise that i'm 3 years late but i'm still hoping for the best for you. and don't think of yourself as the leftover child of a failed marriage, you have the capacity to make yourself transcend your parents ideals about you and make them regret their ways. also do you want a hug? cos i know the feeling of having parental conflict while growing up(i recently turned 16 so yh still a minor).
BlueHairRulz124 Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh my god I just started bawling while reading this... I just dont even know what to say... I feel for you
ChaosOmega88 Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2015
You are a strong person if you can still stand up after this if this were to happen to me I would probably have a mental breakdown and become an insane Psychopath and God  knows what would happen to the people who would do that.
skullsmasher201 Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2015  Hobbyist Artist
 I'm so sorry for you! I know what you're going through. My dad had heart conditions too but my mom didn't even bother to tell me he was dying my last time I saw him was my ninth birthday. it was really hard for me when he died I lost him on Halloween which was my favorite holiday but instead of crying when my mom and uncle first told me I sat there in shock.  My mom keeps telling me it's better that he died or I wouldn't be such a strong sweet teenager and I just say ok. But inside my heart breaks every time I see or hear that someone a person loved died or is dying. I act and look like I'm happy but as you said : I'm ready to wake up now.
Aowna Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
*starting to cry while reading*
  that's why i hate people...
thegirlonthe55a Featured By Owner May 25, 2015
That was really moving
I kinda want sequel because I want to know what happens next
Did you get a happy ending
Almatheja Featured By Owner May 17, 2015  Professional General Artist
'Don't be selfish and let me be child forever.'
jkim555 Featured By Owner May 6, 2015
What can I say man! Being left out or being alone is like the worst thing
Don't make me cry!!!
Bassemobil Featured By Owner May 4, 2015  Student General Artist
You know, this is just what humans are best at.
NobodyPuppetPrincess Featured By Owner May 1, 2015  Hobbyist
<3 *hugs
cupcakealina Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2015
Oooooowww... I understand you, divorce is terrible... but don't give up! Life is a b***h Oshawott swag , so you need to fight it back and be strong...  Chizuru and Kaichou Mokyu Cuteness [V1] Thumbs up - Chat icon 
Dragongurls Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2015
Welcome to reality
OkamiNiki Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2015
thefridgeandme Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2015  Student Traditional Artist
Well, this made me cry. Heart wrenching, and relatable. 
RavenBlack15 Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2015  Hobbyist Artist
So heart wrenching. </3
AnimeLuvr4evahAnita Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2015   Traditional Artist
Asian parents eh?
thami67 Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
I know it's hard, believe me I know. I have a difficult and sorta similar situation going on right now. But soon you get to leave and never look back and when they come to you for help, you can turn away from them just as they did. They won't get away with it for long. Stay strong and remember you have your followers!
YsabeauValikov Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm gonna cry
origamiakatsuki101 Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2015  Hobbyist Artist
(clapclapclap)....And ladies and gentlemen another reason I hate people sometimes.
XxSuperBossxX Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Just remember that you still have your whole life ahead of you, there is plenty of opportunity for you to find happiness.
Randamu-Chan Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Get a Counselor!
thetundrawolf Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2015
Your dad does care and does love you.
yukinohi Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Your art are one of the things that inspires me the most in drawing and life. Eversince, I read 1000 words ,my first time coming across your art, I have been hooked since then! I'm really happy to have come across your artworks. I just came across this and I want you to know I'm cheering you on! Please dont stop fighting!
Sashimi18 Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
This might sound cheesy, but keep holding on. 
BanditArtaku Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2015  Student General Artist
I hope it's not too late to comment here.
Please, stay strong and remember this: don't regard yourself as disgusting and bitter, because that's not true. You are a gifted individual, with so much talent and creativity. The pain they've caused you is their fault, not yours; and if they reject you, they don't deserve you.
You have all of my sympathy, and my deepest condolences. Let's hope the world you wake up to is one of numerous possibilities, and not one of despair.
emmaweng Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2015
I hope you get to see your dad again and stay strong! 
Fuji615 Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Your very strong Yuumei! hang in there! and I know it might sound cheesy but if you need someone we are here for you! we can be your family too! :D

then you see the L icon-

Mistwolf4 Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2015  Student Artist
My feels...
Sandararara Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2015
You're amazing.. I can't put all my feelings together into words but I guess in a way I want to say that you're incredible and I love you're art. Thank you
temari102 Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2015  Hobbyist Artist
lady-warrior Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2015
KokoAkai Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2015
... So heartbreaking... Llama Emoji-08 (Crying) [V1] 
AngelBloodEyes1 Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2015
Wow just wow 
artNoobist Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2015  Student Traditional Artist
Shinihime964 Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2015  Student General Artist
There is nothing that I can say with words.
Yuumei, you have my tears.
Storme67 Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
I actually teared up at this. Beautiful work, and my support is with you in every way.
Enchantixserenabloom Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2014  Student Artist
I'm speechless sorry :( (Sad)  I hope you feel better and your in my thoughts......Heart 
BlackOutDotEXE Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
my god....
I'm speechless
voyflane Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2014
but...   but how do you wake up if you're ten years old?
Zarffyn Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2014
That is one of the saddest things I've read. My family's situation is pretty much the exact opposite of yours. Still together loving parents and all. I think it made me realize how much luck I have.

This comic is two years old, so no idea if it's still valid or not. But if you want to see your dad. Go for it. Don't listen to this new wife or anybody else.

Keep well, and thanks for sharing.
DawnroseofRedwall Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
I guess whatever we say doesn't really matter, but still, I'm sorry. I hope...I hope you will make your life better, and.... be alright. Remember, there are people who respect and admire you. I think it helps when you feel down. :)
Vasynda Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2014  Student Digital Artist
I can't really relate to this. My parents died when I was seven. Seen all manners of Hell, still seeing it. But keep in mind, even if your father's wife wouldn't allow it, sometimes you just got to push right on through and grab that last final moment. Even if you get shit for it afterwords, you'll be glad you did it.
DeathPantherz Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Omg... I actually shed a tear... Holy shit... *hug*
Book-Box Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2014  Student Digital Artist
me too. This is really sad
nakamura-ch4n Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
*hugs* Don't you ever feel that way! 

yuumei I know this was posted long ago but I must say that you must not think of yourself as bitter or disgusting... I am sorry for your father's passing but even then it was cold of him to not fight his new wife for the right to see you, as for your mother well she wasn't nice herself (reminds me of my mother). But do not fret yuumei, you are awesome!!! 

Your art is AMAZING and not to mention you made those cat ear headphones a reality!! You have my support and not to mention my contribution to your cat ear headphones campaign! :3 

tempestofazure Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
When I first saw the title of this comic and the thumbnail I was expecting something ironic or funny, and even as I read the first few panels I thought it might not become as sad as it ended up being. It took me by surprise that it ended up this upsetting, and even more so that it wasn't based in fiction. There are no words that I can think to say to offer comfort, and I'm sorry I can't relate to your situation and I won't pretend to understand it. All I can think to say is you seem like a kind and thoughtful person, and I hope things have gotten better for you and continue to do so.
animegirlMLP Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2014  Student Digital Artist
I'm ready to wake up.
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Submitted on
November 13, 2012
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